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If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
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If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
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Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
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Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
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Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
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I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
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Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
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If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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